Global Domination | Reviews | Ancara: Beyond the dark

Recent updates

Recent discussions

Reviews

Ancara: Beyond the dark

19/02/08 || Kampfar

I sure as fuck prefer hard-rock in my ear rather than a hard-cock up my rear, make no mistakes, but it is still very much one of my least favorite genres this. Sure, I like me some Scorpions, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, even some ZZ-Top, but the last decade or so I’ve paid as much attention to the genre as I’ve done to country, techno, svensktoppar, Sami chants, and I could’ve continued, which would be silly, since ye aren’t all a bunch retards. So, I’m like a heterosexual reviewing a gay porn movie in this case, but fear not, I’ll be (close to) spot fucking on nonetheless. I rule, sort of.

For a starter I kind of hate clean vocals, and when it comes to falsetto I have no doubt whatsoever, it is the ultimate suck of sucks, Horriblis Numero Uno. Even when nailed with perfection, and yes, I’m thinking of King Diamond here. No falsetto to be found on “Beyond the dark”, thank Odin, but I’m not so sure half decent, no doubt utterly generic, hard-rock vocals are an awesome substitute. As much as I’d like to take a piss all over the vocalist dude in Manowar one can’t deny the power and confidence his voice holds; a cunt pushing it to the max, sounding like he was made to do what he do. Mr. Salminen, on the other hand, sounds more like an ordinary guy who picked up a microphone for fun and practiced until he became decent, stuck there as any other elevator in the twin towers per date 11/09/01. He adds very little to the songs, in fact he helps a heap making them sound alike. Not the kind of help a band needs.

Production wise it sounds professional and worked with, the mix with some punch and bottom even, but it can’t help the music getting all too cozy and lighthearted for this seriously pissed troll. Sure, the guitars sounds quite ace, and not only that, there are some good riffs to enjoy as well, but they all lead to fucking cheesy choruses, ones old in ’85 already, the lot catchy as a flu you’ve grown immune to. And then we have fucking power ballad bullshit as is the case with “Snowflower”. Trust me, not the best looking whore in the whole wide world would get me to bed if she insisted playing this crapper. And yeah, the song after are one of the fastest on the album. Herrejævlagud, how utterly predictable. (Note by The Lord: Thanx for that line, I just pissed myself with laughter)

Ancara needn’t be ashamed of this release, minus the PBB, and I’m sure they have more than two fans, but, as of yet, they do not have the X factor to break into anything other than the Finnish charts, if that. They are very good at their instruments, and even have a slight knack for writing quality music, but, unfortunately, an even bigger one for writing shitty lyrics and bland choruses.

Dr. Kill hands out a general recipe for mind altering drugs, so to spark their creativity, but, in a desperate attempt at getting him started, he deals a horrendously hard kick in the balls to Mr. Vocalist, steel tip and all.

Those of our readers into this kind of life-affirming, spirit lifting rock should add 2 points or so, not more, to the score, which would be 4 if we dealt out such things for demos.

Information
Released: 2007
Label: Metal Heaven
Website: www.ancarasite.com
Band
Sammy Salminen: vocals
Samuel Hjelt: guitar
Juha Wahlsten: guitar, vocals
Mika Rajala: bass
Timo Rajala: drums

Tracklist
01. Circles
02. Deny
03. Snowflower
04. Scarred
05. Just for me
06. Cranium tension
07. When everyone else is gone
08. In silence

Reviews